Every day a newlywed loses a ring … and many people who have been married for years join them in that dismay. The reality is that life happens.
You lose weight, go to a cold destination, do some river-rafting with friends, heck you can even lose your ring doing the dishes. Most men will lose their ring at least once and there are countless stories of ladies losing or misplacing their bands - often after washing their hands at a restaurant. No matter who you are, it’s possible you might one day face the music of having to admit you lost your ring.
Though we hope it’s not the case, if or when the time comes, here are some ways to be ready - and to gracefully have the conversation with your partner.
- Apologize from the heart. Acknowledge that you have lost more than an object, but a token of your marriage. Make it clear that losing the ring was not a reflection of the value you place on your union.
- Take responsibility. Identify why you lost your ring, and what you could have done differently so you can take preventive action in the future.
- Prepare for emotions. Your partner might be angry, sad or jealous depending on how they react to both the fact that you lost the ring and how that loss came about. Don’t try to stop those emotions. Recognize that this could throw them for a loop and that the most important thing is your commitment to and love for one another. Let those emotions happen and give back your unconditional love.
- Ask for help. Engage your partner in finding the ring or buying a replacement and agreeing on a future solution. Enlist them in reminding you to take it off when you are in the water or playing a sport - even ask for a ring storage or safety device as a gift to show you want to ensure this never happens again.
- Hide that you lost your ring. He or she will find out. You can only go on for so many days without a partner getting suspicious, then anxious and ultimately angry. Those emotions that they are justified in having will only escalate the longer you avoid or are dishonest about an unfortunate occurrence.
- Secretly buy a replacement. Again, he or she will figure it out. Unless, like some guys who bought multiple at the outset, your ring was in pristine condition - you are unlikely to replace it perfectly. These days most men’s bands have custom details or inscriptions and women’s rings are too costly to replace without a dip to the bank balance. Come clean.
- Get defensive. Let’s harken back to the emotions piece. Yes, there may be some yelling or the silent treatment - but if you’re truly remorseful and have an honorable reason for losing it - he or she will eventually come around. Don’t let your partner’s reaction drag you down into a fight - when really, you want to express your love and commitment. Keep silent or keep reiterating that positive message.
If you are reading this post - then you've probably lost a ring. We're sending you good vibes and luck in both finding it and admitting it to the one you love.